Buckle Up!

I must be one of the few people left who hasn't seen Con Air either on Video or at the Movie Theater and little did I suspect the absolute treat I had let myself in for

I must be one of the few people left who hasn’t seen Con Air either on video or at the Movie Theater and little did I suspect the absolute treat I had let myself in for. I gather that many serious film critics slammed Con Air for being far to full of clichés and true enough, it is packed with them end to end. Not only clichés either but squeamish sentimentality as well. However it the absolute predictability of the film and its attempt to justify the hefty body count with the idea that its all down to one good man trying to get home to his family that makes it such a ripping success.

Nicholas Cage plays Cameron Poe, a good old southern boy, who has just left the US Rangers, an elite Air Force elite regiment to whom he has dedicated the best years of his life. The tough military man is going home to his newly pregnant wife to play happy families. Unfortunately that would make this a movie about relationships and family values. But, as luck would have it, on his first night home, he gets into a fight with three drunken low-lives who have taken a fancy to his rather doll like wife. Despite her protestations to Poe “You’re not that man any more” he reverts to form and gives the three bad guys a sound kicking, inadvertently killing one of them in the process. Oops.

Being a solid citizen, having honourably served his nation for years Poe admits his crime and throws himself on the mercy of the US justice system. The silly boy clearly forgot this is the same system that let OJ go and gave immunity to Monica Lewinsky. Before we know it, he has agreed what seems like a hugely ill advised plea bargain and finds himself sentenced to 7-10 years for assault with a deadly weapon (his fists).

We jump straight to the point of his release. Poe has been a model prisoner and made lots of friends inside (Though the time he has served has done nothing to alter his now annoying accent). His pretty wife is still waiting for him (now with a daughter who he has never seen) and all that Poe wants to do is get home in time for her birthday.

He gets to hitch a ride on a flight being run by the US Marshall’s service, shipping some of the Countries worst criminals to a new prison. The baddest man on the flight is one Cyrus ‘the Virus’, played delightfully by John Malkovich. This is no ordinary flight. The passengers are either strapped and handcuffed to their chairs or locked into special mini cells. The guards are all armed with high voltage cattle prods and are not going to take any grief from anyone. Come to think of it, it’s a lot like flying Continental.

Cyrus has other plans though. In a brilliantly executed manoeuvre he and a group of fellow convicts take-over the plane and prepare to fly to freedom. Fasten your seatbelts gentlemen. Welcome to Con Air.

You guessed it – there is only one man who can save the day, and he is already on the plane. Poe is going to be a hero after all, although we are never quite sure whether he is going to risk his life to get to his Daughters party, to help his buddy on the plane (who needs an insulin injection) or just because he has been trained to mercilessly dispatch any bad guy he can lay his hands on. Then again, who cares. Poe pretends to be one of the really bad Cons whilst plotting their downfall. That fall when it comes (bear in mind we are at 20,000 feet) is going to be pretty spectacular. I won’t spoil it by revealing the eventual landing strip that the plane hits, but its rather unusual. The body count soars (unlike our plane), dead people fall out the sky with notes written on them, classic cars get dragged along behind aeroplanes, helicopter gunships frighten innocent tourists and there are enough guns to keep a whole class of American teenagers happy for at least five minutes. We have explosions, we have action, we have adventure, we have a damsel in distress (female Marshall on the plane, now what idiot thought of that). What more could we want? The only thing this movie lacks is an exploding gas truck but they make up for that with a devilish false ending, that gives you a change for yet more explosions and shooting. I am quite breathless with all the excitement. Enough lead has been expended to roof a good-sized church.

Poe of course triumphs in the end, but I am not giving anything away by saying that. We all knew that he would within moments of the start. This is all fabulous fun. It’s the escapist fun that action movies are all about.

From a DVD point of view, Con Air is hard to fault. The sound is superb, nicely balanced and natural. I wouldn’t say no to a little more bass, but then again I am not happy till I have broken some windows. The picture quality is also excellent, but you will need a big screen TV to do all the action justice. There are no evident video nasties at all, although with all the excitement it would be easy to miss something. Don’t even thing about watching the pan and scan version, goodness knows what you would miss. This is a DVD to buy and watch again and again. Preferably, just before you get on a plane.