They lost half a million at cards but they've still got a few tricks up their sleeve

Warning : The language in this review mirrors that found in the movie and hence may be a little OTT for some of our younger viewers. (And my Mother).

I‘ll waste no time here, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is funny. Very funny. Its made even funnier by the fact that when I first saw it (at the Washington Premier) I was in a movie theatre with about 200 Americans and 10 or 15 Brits. The film is oh so British, but not in the way you might expect. It is more ‘Pulp Fiction’ than ‘Shakespeare in Love’ and the local audience just didn’t get it. There is something perversely funny about an ‘in-joke’. Maybe it was all too gratuitous for them (I lost count off the number of ‘fucks’ in the first five minutes, but its certainly more than in Four Weddings) or maybe British and American cultures are even more different than I (as an ex-pat) imagine. There are class distinctions and prejudices heaped one on another. To anyone with a British accent its very easy to tell who's a stupid Northern bastard and who's a soft Southern wanker. I suspect this crucial difference maybe be largely lost on many Americans along with the immediately obvious 'public school' (In the US read 'private school’) or 'school of hard knocks' (read 'projects') level of education of our merry bunch of villains. At the Washington Premier the British contingent roared their collective heads off whilst most of the locals sat around whispering to each other and staring at the ceiling. I think two or three people even left but slowly, surely and with increasing bravado, even the Americans found themselves laughing and being drawn further into the incredible picture the movie paints of the really rough end of East End London. By the end of the film the whole theatre was in fits of laughter.

The basic premise of the story is that four likely lads: Eddy, Soap, Tom and Bacon (Nick Moran, Dexter Fletcher, Jason Flemyng and Jason Statham) decide to try and make a fast buck in a rather high stakes game of cards. They have all diligently saved for some years and raised 25 thousand pounds each giving them 100 grand, the minimum stake to enter the poker game hosted by Porn King Harry Lonsdale (P.H.Moriarty), better known as ‘Hatchet Harry’. (His past endeavors explained, this seems an unlikely nickname I concede but ‘Black Rubber Cock Harry’ doesn’t have quite such a traditional East End ring to it). Moran’s character you see, is a bit of a genius when it comes to cards. His card playing abilities are described in a string of suitably colourful prose by Harry’s resident hard man Barry 'The Baptist' (played with chilling nastiness by real life heavy Lenny McLean – who after showing a stunning talent for playing himself, sadly died after making this film). With the very real possibility of losing to the young players Harry decides to cheat. There is no indication that he doesn’t cheat all the time of course – but in this instance his devious underhandedness leads to the boys losing not only their hundred grand but another hundred and fifty on top, that Harry was kind enough to ‘lend’ them on the condition it was paid back within a week. So where do four, basically honest lads find themselves a quarter of a million pounds in seven days? Perhaps more importantly, why does it matter? The trouble is, that if they don’t come up with the cash they will receive a visit from another of Harry’s boys, debt collector ‘Chris’.

The fact that Chris – a nasty violent thug (who touchingly works with his young son) is portrayed by retired football star Vinnie Jones is no mistake. Vinnie is notorious in the UK for being, well, a nasty violent thug. Whether this is his real character, or merely an elaborate act for the football cameras is hard to tell but if he came looking for my money (lets say armed with only a golf club) and I was suitably tooled up with a small military arsenal, I would be tempted to let him have the cash anyway. Just in case. Vinnie is, as they say, well-hard.

The majority of the cast will be totally unknown to an American audience, with the exception of Sting who plays the father of one of our card-playing boys. Don't let this fact put anyone off seeing this film for a moment. I cannot think of a single bad performance in the movie. The entire cast are somewhere between brilliant and blinding. The casting is superb, the resulting characters either warm and approachable or enough to scare you out of your wits for a month. It just goes to show that money not only can’t buy love, but its no guarantee of talent either.

There has been a certain amount of debate concerning violence in the film. I would agree that there are a number of scenes that made me squirm a little (and I can happily sit through Starship Troopers) but the problem with LSATSM is that its all just a little bit too believable. These are real people not bugs from outer space and some real people can be really rather nasty. However, director Guy Ritchie keeps it all in long shot and resists the temptation to go overboard. The potentially most unpleasant scene of all (a monster gunfight between opposing thugs) takes place behind a closed door and wouldn’t even raise a frown from my grandmother. One might suggest that this is down to Ritchie not having enough money to stage a bit shoot-out scene but I would like to think it was a calculated move. The implied violence is more than enough and this is, after all, a comedy.

A few interesting facts about the movie:

It was shot in thirty-six days. This is staggering when you consider most directors take longer than this deciding which pair of pants to wear to the Oscars.

It cost less than a million dollars. The lowest of low budget art films would tend to come in at two or three times that and a Hollywood movie, at least ten times (before special effects).

This is Guy Ritchie's first film. He used to make commercials but has clearly grown up. On the night we met him, he was still a nice guy. How long before he is swallowed by a monster Hollywood studio and filmed naked in a bath tub full of money? He next movie has a lot to live up to. I look forward to it.

Somebody in Seattle got shot for talking in a cinema screening. This film requires intense concentration. Ritchie moves the pace on so many seemingly unlinked fronts that any disturbance and you will be lost. The fact that he ties every single one of the many loose ends is yet another plus for the movie. If anyone gives you any hassle while you are watching the movie, shoot them.

From the DVD point of view the picture is somewhat muted in color. This is also true of the cinema print, so to be fair the DVD is a good reproduction. It was (perhaps unkindly) suggested that Ritchie had to use old film stock because he couldn't afford anything else. Whether this is true or not, the dingy color scheme actually adds to the feeling of low-life London. The sound is nice and crisp and the backing music is applied just to the right level in all the right places. You are never left being overpowered with effects noises or having to struggle to hear dialogue. More of this please!

Everything all comes out right in the end. Or does it? You are left not quite sure but once again Ritchie wins. This has to be the most satisfying unfinished film ever. Having seen the way it ends you cannot imagine a better way to leave it. Make no mistake, this film will become a classic.

This DVD was imported from the UK Region 2, you will require a multi region player to view this movie in any other region.